Thursday, June 26, 2008

Easy With That Wire Hangar, Joan..!

Kanye West's Bonnaroo Meltdown and Proceeding Fallout shows His Ineptitude at Taking Justifiable Criticism


The Bonnaroo incident is now becoming the albatross Kanye West can’t seem to shake, His recent all-caps tirade-riddled blog is the latest series in the Kanye Unholy Trinity of Megalomania that becomes further evidence of what he defines as confidence is nothing more than self aggrandizement. Worsening this debacle into an unredeemable interstellar melt down of epic proportions is the rationale of ‘Ye assailing the one group that he shouldn’t have dare blasted..

The fans themselves.

I don’t condone their littering the stage with bottles to the point of making the stage into a three-inch deep pool of overpriced urine-flavored libations, turning his overly-convoluted techno concerted performance into a living electrical hazard replete with the opportunity for him to break his neck, much like having newly cleaned naked skin making unsure contact to a slippery floor coming out of a shower. West was right for addressing this in his mostly-adolescent temper tantrum-ladened bitchfest of a blog

Kanye West went completely off coarse when he decided to channel Joan Crawford, splitting hairs and ‘wire hangars’ about having his payday cut in half by the damage the pelting created, blaming the organizers for their poor coordination, and going as far as holding the same organizers accountable for not issuing a statement of apology on his behalf. The most entertaining bit of this Man-Diva drama was his blaming the fans themselves for not pulling off the performance the way he envisioned, ending his ‘Kanye Dearest’ rant with ‘(You) can never say I didn’t give my all’.

Well ‘Mr. Crawford’, yes we can say that.

Joan Crawford died May 10, 1977..Kanye was born June 8th the same year. Could his latest tirade be a convincing argument of him being Joan Crawford reincarnated? Hmmm....

And as much as I have bean-bagged WhutDoYaMeanGene Simmons for his inability to stand in on his ignorance with debates he starts, the one area he has completely got it on the mark is his interpretation of the fans role in Kiss’ sustainable star power and revenue garnering, being simply this:

‘The fans are our bosses. Without them, we would be nothing.

Prince doesn’t do a whole lot of speaking, but his performance at Coachella spoke volumes as to his understanding of what his role was at the festival, covering Radiohead’s ‘Creep’ mid-repertoire; letting the fans know he understood His Purple Badness was NOT the focus of the night, and lending musical props to the band themselves, who actually were the anticipated centerpiece of that event.

It was respectful, even galvanizing.

But not ’ol ‘Joan’. Kanye decided this was all about him. There are a few things ‘Ye could’ve done to make the experience have more value (not to mention more tolerable) starting with a few simple rules for playing at a festival with multiple performances by various acts:

1) Keep it simple: There was really no need for the complicated neo-Funkadelic staging for his performance. Joan could’ve spared himself much aggravation and risk of technical failure had he just stripped-down the staging involved. This is a festival, not a ‘Kanye and Friends’ collective tour. This shows respect to the other acts involved, and allows room for any minor delays. The fans will appreciate seeing you perform, but will also appreciate you getting your ass on, and off the stage quickly.

2) Expect delays: Joan doesn’t have a good grasp of the concept that
even when it comes to His High Hip-Hopness, shit happens. Tech delays, staging
malfunctions, wardrobe difficulties, lighting gaffs all can occur without warning, and will, especially at a multi-act venue. Show some patience, girlfriend..go have a wine spritzer and a Zoloft. The whole world is not ‘waiting to see (you) fall’:many of us haven’t seen you rise. And so many more don’t care, BabyJane.

3) Communicate to the fans at the end of a long set delay ‘Ms. Crawford’ could have really done his ManDiva-ass a favor with this simple sentence “Hey, people, really sorry for the long delay..hope y’all ready for a really good set…!” This could’ve done wonders for the whole situation. Would’ve killed the ‘Kanye sucks’ chants, possibly turned to cheers and might’ve become the most memorable performance that evening. The entire coarse of events now that are happening would have resulted in the positive adulation ‘Ye so craves constantly.

What Kanye forgot in all this was the fans themselves. Rather than take charge of the debacle by way of an act of contrition to the audience, he elected instead to go on stage, make no acknowledgement of the horribly long delay, and then bitch when he rightfully got bean-bagged for it by the fans themselves. Joanie the ManDiva chose to blame the fallout on everything and everyone else except the real person who was responsible.


It is his fault because he owned no accountability to it. And in the process, committed one of the worst cardinal sins:

Taking it out on the fans themselves.

So, listen closely ‘Mildred Pierce’, before you decide to have your fingers wrapped around the soft, pillowy buttons of your MacAir laptop, here’s a few things to consider before you attempt to ‘clear out some more wire hangars’, and beat us all down a la Christina Crawford.

Fans do not care how much revenue loss you took. They paid to see you, alongside other acts. That is your problem..

They are also not concerned about your fettered opinion in regards to your beleaguered tech delays and over-excessive staging and props, and whose fault it was that it didn’t come off correctly. You wasted their time, and then had the audacity to whine like a 5-year old.

What you see as an injustice and disrespect to your art, they see as you acting a little spoiled bitch, crying over your lost baby bottle. Fans also got a glimpse of your shortsighted pettiness and your over-indulged sense of self-importance.

If indeed you’re going to vent online for the entire world to see, and put out a screamer-blog, do us all a favor and UNDO the ‘Caps Lock’. Screaming in all caps is for children, and last I checked, you just turned 31.

And lastly, Joan-Kanye, you cannot defend the indefensible. Redirecting blame, getting huffy and defensive in a poorly written and ill-advised blog, then trying to assert your dominance in the game just makes you look and sound a right jackass. The fiasco is your entire fault because of your failure to plan properly, and to address this to the audience at Bonnaroo, before you started attempting to perform in that slippery beer-soaked pool of a stage.

If you lack the insight and common sense to understand the fans angle in this, you should check to make sure you have proper circulation of blood going into your cerebral cortex..

A good start is maybe to find some loose-fitting clothes. And take some accountability, and stop pissing off fans. No one is digging your act

‘Kanye Dearest’

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